Harry Potter and the HalfBlood Prince
by Iggity
Summary: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince in 15 to 30 Minutes. My parody of the film. Strong language and sexual innuendos, so if you don't know what an innuendo is, you probably should skip over this.  Previously HermyandRon. I'm still the same person, I promise!


**A/N:** I'm doing them all, so why not start on this one, eh? I'm really not sure if this one'll come out before or after Philosopher's Stone and Prisoner of Azkaban, but either way, I really want to write the Half-Blood Prince parody.

Side note: WHO'S GOING TO FLORIDA TO BE A PART OF THE HARRY POTTER THEME PARK!?

I'm going to try my damnedest to go and drag Shelly and JD along with me! Look for a girl with weird teeth and black framed glasses! I might even wear a name tag that says "HermyandRon". I'm still debating that part, though. xD

Back to Half-Blood Prince: there is a strong warning that comes with this parody. I normally have just one theme in every parody (Harry's a whiny emo bitch in OotP, the characters say 'FUCK YO insert-item-here' in CoS, 'GTFO of my house!' is said continually in PS, etc). However, I have _**two**_ main themes in this one: 1) Harry has developed a huge crush on Draco, AND 2) Zelda. Yes, Zelda. Like, the Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time dialogue will appear. Mainly because I started a new game and the Deku Tree sounded like a character and I almost died from laughter. Because I am that screwed up.

Alright, for those of you who are new to HermyandRon's Parody World, this is rated T for a reason. I use a lot of sexual innuendos, along with foul language and references that would fly over some younger people's heads. At least, I'm told that it would fly over some people's heads. Anyway.

I also make fun of the actors and the plot and the storyline, but I love the characters and the actors and the storyline and Harry Potter in general. This is really just to make fun of stuff that I found funny.

Just a quick disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, or The Legend of Zelda, or Johnny Dangerously, or the LiamKyleSullivan (from YouTube) line that I use, or even any of the other songs I reference throughout the parody. I say this because I tweeted that I was working on this one night and the next morning had a Warner Brothers account following me on Twitter. I laughed at first, but now I'm like, 'uh ... creepy'. What if they're like, "Yeah, your parodies SUCK! We're suing your sorry, pathetic ass for copyright infringement" and then I had to give all my Harry Potter stuff back!? I'd DIE!

Anyway, Shelly will be making an appearance (like always), along with me (Katey), and JD, and maybe even my parents. Also, there's a special guest with us tonight! He only has one line, but he's still very _special_. So here goes!

**Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince in 15 to 30 Minutes**

**THE BEGINNING:** -starts off dark. Like always-

**KATEY:** Way to get us in the mood, Warner Brothers.

**HARRY:** -is being touched by Dumbledore-

**SHELLY:** That's not fair, Katey. If Jo hadn't said that Dumbledore was, in fact, a homosexual, you wouldn't be making jokes about him touching Harry.

**KATEY:** ...do you not KNOW me? I make jokes about ANYTHING I CAN. You'd think, this being the sixth parody you've been in, that you'd know this by now.

**PICTURES:** -are being taken-

**THE TITLE:** -always gives me goosebumps the first couple times I see the newest movie. Anyone else get like that?-

**TRUE HP FANS:** -nod nod-

**NEWLY CONVERTED HP FANS:** -head shake- GTFO y r u so wierd?

**KATEY:** ... shut up! You guys have only seen the movies! You SUCK! Fucking trolls.

**A BUILDING:** -is shown-

**SOME MUGGLES:** -are working-

**DEATH EATERS:** -fuck yo shit UP-

**Random, Sleazy-Looking Coffee Joint**

**HARRY:** -is reading _The Daily Prophet_. In a Muggle restaurant. Even though he's been told far too many times that Muggles are NOT SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT MAGIC EXISTS, YOU FUCKING SOD!!-

**SOME GIRL:** -talks to Harry-

**HARRY:** -almost gets laid, but Dumbledore appears out of nowhere and completely cockblocks him to kidnap him and take him to some spooky Muggle neighbourhood-

**Some Spooky Muggle Neighbourhood**

**DUMBLEDORE:** -runs off-

**HARRY:** WTMFBBQMATE?!

**HARRY AND DUMBLEDORE:** -break into someone's house, poke a couch and convince the dude who came out of the couch to some back to teach at Hogwarts-

**DUMBLEDORE:** -sends Harry to the Burrow-

**The Burrow**

**GINNY:** WTF when did Harry get here?

**THE ENTIRE HOUSE:** -goes on a rampage looking for Harry-

**HARRY:** -ended up in the kitchen. Dumb asses-

**GINNY:** -glomples Harry-

**HARRY/GINNY SHIPPERS:** FUCK! FINALLY!

**HERMIONE:** -jumps Harry-

**HARRY/HERMIONE SHIPPERS:** WOOT WOOT! FUCK YOU, RON/HERMIONE SHIPPERS! FUCK! YOU! WITH SOMETHING HARD AND SANDPAPERY! BETCH! -/end LiamKyleSullivan reference-

**RON:** No homo -hugs Harry-

**HARRY/RON SHIPPERS:** RONALD, DO NOT DENY YOUR TRUE FEELINGS!

**RON:** -pokes at Hermione's mouth- You got white stuff ... erm, I mean ... toothpaste ... you know ... on your face.

**RON/HERMIONE SHIPPERS:** WE WIN, YOU FUCKING HARRY/HERMIONE SHIPPERS!

**HARRY/HERMIONE SHIPPERS:** PFFT! WHATEVER! THEY FUCKING HUGGED! RON POKED HER FACE!

**KATEY:** Heh heh heh. Poked her face with WHAT? -suggestive tone-

**SHELLY:** OMG MOVE ON PLZKTHNX!

**Ron's Room**

**HARRY, RON AND HERMIONE:** -finally get a moment to act like the teenagers they are instead of the adults they have to be-

**SHELLY:** ...

**KATEY:** What?

**SHELLY:** That's it? No joke?

**KATEY:** No. Why?

**SHELLY:** I ... I am shocked.

**KATEY:** ... your MOM was shocked at how long Ron could last this morning! OOOOHHHH!

**SHELLY:** Oh, OK. You ARE alright. I was about to check your temperature.

**Some Creepy Old Neighbourhood**

**KATEY:** Snape _WOULD_ live in some creepy area like that.

**NARCISSA MALFOY AND BELLATRIX LESTRANGE:** -stalk Snape's house-

**SNAPE:** -makes an Unbreakable Vow to do some stuff for Narcissa-

**NEWLY CONVERTED HP FANS:** OMG WAT DID HE _JUST DO_!?

**Do People Actually Read This Stuff?**

**THE TRIO:** -are at Fred and George's new joke shop-

**RON:** -spots Draco Malfoy and Narcissa Malfoy acting PlotPointedly suspicious-like-

**HARRY:** Draco! -falls in love-

**THE TRIO:** -follow the Malfoys-

**No, I'm Serious. Do People Really Read These?**

**THE MALFOYS:** -head into Borgin and Burkes and close the drapes. Makes you wonder what they were doing, eh? Eh?-

**I Did Your Mom. On The Hogwarts Express?**

**HARRY:** -is convinced that Draco Malfoy has become a Death Eater-

**RON AND HERMIONE:** -don't believe him-

**HARRY:** -spent too much time away from his lover and grabs his Invisibility Cloak to sneak into Malfoy's compartment-

**MALFOY:** -looks really really REALLY good in his suit-

**BLAISE:** -is also uber good looking. Rawr-

**THE TRAIN:** -pulls into Hogsmeade Station-

**HARRY:** -is jinxed by Malfoy, then stepped on-

**LUNA:** -saves the day-

**DUMBLEDORE'S ARMY:** -is formed-

**SHELLY:** ...dude, what?

**KATEY:** Oh, my bad. Wrong parody. It's surprisingly simple to get them mixed up

**The Great Hall**

**GINNY:** He's covered in blood again. Why is it he's always covered in blood?

**KATEY:** He's Harry Sodding Potter! Being covered in blood is COOL!

**DUMBLEDORE:** Dost thou sense it? The climate of evil descending upon this realm? Malevolent forces even now are mustering to attack out land of Hyrule. For so long, Kokiri Forest, the source of life, has stood as a barrier, deterring outsiders and maintaining the order of the world.

**HARRY:** ...WTF?

**DUMBLEDORE:** Before this tremendous evil power, even my power is as nothing ...

**SHELLY:** Katey, wtf?

**JD:** OMG, Kate, you nerd -lessthanthree-

**DUMBLEDORE:** I do not have much time left ...

**NEWLY CONVERTED HP FANS:** OMGWHUT!?!?!?!?

**KATEY:** Ah, shite. Did I just give away the end?

**McGonagall's One Hawt Mama (No, I Don't Think I'll Stop It Soon)**

**McGONAGALL:** Potter, take Weasley and go to Potions

**DRUGS ARE BAD, MM'KAY?**

**HARRY:** -fights Ron for the good textbook. Loses-

**RON:** Fucking pwned, bitch.

**HARRY:** -gets the Half-Blood Prince's book-

**NEWLY CONVERTED HP FANS:** OMG HOSE DA HAVE-BLOOD PRINTS?!

**HP FANS WHO ONLY READ THE BOOKS ONCE AND FORGOT EVERYTHING:** I DUNNO, I CAN'T REMEMBER AND WE'VE BEEN HERE AS LONG AS YOU HAVE, YOU FUCKING IDIOTS!

**HARRY:** -uses the Prince's directions and pwns the class-

**Dumbledore's Office**

**DUMBLEDORE:** You and Ms Granger ... you're ...?

**HARRY:** Just friends, sir. I ... I don't think of her like that.

**ANY OTHER GUY/HERMIONE SHIPPERS:** WE FUCKING TOLD YOU!

**RON/HERMIONE SHIPPERS:** Now we just have to get these fucking idiots out of the way and we WIN!

**DUMBLEDORE:** Ah, I see. I merely thought ...

**HARRY:** Nope. Never gonna happen.

**DUMBLEDORE:** Enough chit chat. Thy slumber these past moons must have been restless and full of nightmares.

**HARRY:** No, that was last year. Why are you talking like that?

**DUMBLEDORE:** As the servants of evil gain strength, a vile climate pervades the land and causes nightmares to those sensitive to it. Verily, thou hast felt it.

**HARRY:** ... you calling me a wussy?

**DUMBLEDORE:** ...yes.

**HARRY:** ...

**DUMBLEDORE:** -shows Harry memories and explains that they're about Voldemort and that Harry has to get very close to Slughorn to get a certain memory-

**Random Scenes and Deep Thoughts Ahead!**

**MALFOY:** -is walking down a hallway-

**A BIRD INSIDE A CAGE INSIDE A CAGE:** -is shown-

**MUM:** That's kind of sad, really. Why do you need a cage inside of another cage?

**KATEY:** It's a metaphor for Draco's life. He's shadowed by his father, who chose to be shadowed by Voldemort and Voldemort's ideals.

**MUM:** ...that's actually really deep.

**KATEY:** ...fucking high school English courses forcing us to analyse possible metaphors for life.

**MALFOY:** -plays with a closet thingy in the Room of Requirement-

**QUIDDITCH! QUIDDITCH! QUIDDITCH!**

**RON:** -gets pissy with McLaggen 'cause the dude asked to be introduced to Hermione-

**HERMIONE:** -fucks McLaggen-

**SHELLY:** ...

**KATEY:** OH! Hang on.

**HERMIONE:** -fucks McLaggen UP-

**KATEY:** There.

**RON:** -becomes Keeper-

**Gryffindor Common Room (Yeah, I Ran Out of Ideas)**

**HERMIONE:** -bitches at Harry about the potion book-

**GINNY:** -teefs it-

**KATEY:** If you do not remember when saying "OMG, you just got _TEEFED_!!" instantly earned you twelve cool points in school, you shouldn't be reading this.

**GINNY:** Half-Blood Prince? Who's the Half-Blood Prince?

**NEWLY CONVERTED HP FANS:**OMFG THNX WEAVE BEING AXING THAT EVAR TIMES HAIRY OPEN DA BOOK IN CLASS!

**HARRY:** -ignores them and takes his book and leaves-

**Hogsmeade**

**THE TRIO:** -head to the Three Broomsticks-

**SLUGHORN:** -invites Harry and Hermione to dinner, then completely ignores Ron-

**THE TRIO:** -leave and witness the fucked up possession of Katie Bell-

**The Castle**

**McGONAGALL:** Why is it that, whenever something like this happens, it's always around you three?

**RON:** Fuck, I've been asking that for six bloody years, Minnie.

**HARRY:** It was Malfoy. He cursed her.

**SNAPE:** And you know this how?

**HARRY:**I just know.

**SNAPE:** You just ... _know_.

**HARRY:** Did I fucking stutter?

**McGONAGALL:** You should get back to your Dormitories. Now. NAO!

**Boy's Dorm**

**HARRY AND RON:** -talk about Ginny's and Hermione's skin. It's better not to question their motives-

**Slughorn's Dinner Party**

**McLAGGEN:** -is a sleaze-

**GINNY:** -comes in late-

**HARRY:** -is such a gentleman. It makes me giggle-

**HERMIONE:** -knows, man. She _knows_. And makes sure that Harry know that she knows-

**HARRY:** -stays behind to talk to Slughorn and attempts to get the memory by asking if Voldemort made Slughorn's shelf-

**KATEY:** Smooth, Harry. Fucking smooth.

**Quidditch Match! Woooo!**

**HARRY:** -spikes Ron's drink-

**RON:** OMGYESICANWINTHISDOOOODE! -kicks arse in the game and wins-

**Gryffindor Common Room**

**HARRY:** -didn't actually spike Ron's drink. Cheeky bastard-

**LAVENDER BROWN:** -snogs Ron-

**HERMIONE:** -takes off all hurt and broken hearted-

**HARRY:** -finds her and comforts her-

**RON:** -shows up-

**HERMIONE:** -attacks Ron with birds and then cries on Harry's shoulder-

**KATEY:** Yeah, it hurts that much. I'd know.

**Slughorn's Christmas Party**

**HARRY:** -shows up with Luna-

**PEOPLE:** -are mingling-

**HERMIONE:** -shows up out of nowhere and drags Harry behind a curtain- I've just escaped ... I mean .. left McLaggen under the mistletoe. -grabs some Dragon Tartar and wolfs it down- FUCK here he comes.

**McLAGGEN:** You seen Hermione?

**HARRY:** Powdering her nose -to himself- you stupid twat who doesn't know her at all.

**McLAGGEN:** Hmm. -wolfs down Dragon Tartar- What are these? -eats more-

**HARRY:** ...Dragon balls.

**KATEY:** Anyone else hear the Dragon Ball Z theme song whenever Harry says that? "Dragon, dragon ball. DRAGON BALL ZEEEEE! Dragon, dragon ball ... ZEEEE!"

**McLAGGEN:** -pukes on Snape's shoes-

**A DISRUPTION:** -occurs-

**FILCH:** -has Malfoy by the collar-

**SNAPE:** I'll escort him out.

**MALFOY:** -winks- Certainly, Professor.

**HARRY:** NO! Draco, I _LOVE_ you! -follows and listens in-

**I Pulled A Ray William Johnson(YOUTUBE) and Did Your Mom (On the Hogwarts Express. Again)**

**HARRY:** -tells Ron about what he heard-

**LAVENDER BROWN:** -does that stupid foggy window with the heart and the initals thing-

**HERMIONE:** -walks by, sees said stupid heart thing and keeps walking-

**KATEY:** Yeah, it still hurts.

**The Burrow**

**HARRY:** -tells Lupin and Mr Weasley about what he heard at Hogwarts-

**SOME SERIOUS CONVERSATIONS:** -take place-

**HARRY:** -is sitting on the stairs-

**GINNY:** Ron gone to bed yet?

**HARRY:** No, not yet.

**GINNY:** Shoelace.

**HARRY:** Huh?

**GINNY:** -goes down on Harry-

**KATEY:** Heh heh heh.

**SHELLY:** Omg, Katey, elaborate. Perv.

**GINNY:** -goes down on her knees to tie his shoelace-

**DEATH EATERS:** -attack the Burrow- FIIIIIIRRRRE!

**HARRY:** -chases after Bellatrix Lestrange-

**GINNY:** -chases after Harry-

**HARRY AND GINNY:** -fight Death Eaters and are soon joined by Lupin, Tonks and Arthur-

**A LOT OF PEOPLE:** -didn't like this scene. Understandable, since the Death Eaters more or less destroy the Burrow, but it proves that Harry can be found, no matter how well he thinks he's hiding. It also proves how powerful Voldemort has become. ALL IN THREE MINUTES! Bam.-

**Hogwarts Hallway**

**HERMIONE:** You're bloody lucky you weren't killed!

**TRUE HP FANS:** WHOA WTF?! WHY'S HERMIONE CURSING!? SHE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE CURSING!

**HERMIONE:** Oh fuck off, the lot of you. I'm allowed to let one slip every now and then!

**KATEY:** I really only put this bit in because Hermione curses. It made me gape. No joke. I nudged my mother in the theatre and was like, 'Did she just --?' It was amusing. For my mother, I mean. Nothing else really happens in this scene except for Ron's "My Sweetheart" necklace. Moving on.

**Dumbledore's Office**

**DUMBLEDORE:** -shows Harry a messed with memory of Voldiepants talking to Slughorn and then asks Harry to get Slughorn to give him the memory-

**Slughorn's Office**

**HARRY:** -tries, and fails, to get the memory from Slughorn. Only succeeds in getting Slughorn pissed at him-

**KATEY:** Harry, you're on a motherfucking failboat.

**Boy's Dormitory**

**RON:** -is in love with Romilda Vane-

**HARRY:** -is alarmed-

**RON:** -attacks Harry-

**HARRY:** WTF?!

**RON:** It's no joke! I'm in love with her!

**HARRY:** Alright, fine, you're in love with her! Have you ever actually met her?

**RON:** ... no. -sits down and stares at the moon-

**HARRY:** -takes Ron to Slughorn and makes peace with the latter, who un-drugs Ron and then manages to poison him. Harry then saves the day by shoving a bezoar down Ron's throat-

**Hospital Wing**

**DUMBLEDORE:** -inspects the poisoned mead, but that's not important (heh heh heh, whatever). The next bit is-

**LAVENDER:** -comes rushing in- IS HE OK?! HAS HE BEEN ASKING FOR ME?! -sees Hermione and gets pissed-

**LAVENDER AND HERMIONE:** -have a bitch fight-

**LAVENDER:** WTF is SHE doing here?!

**HERMIONE:** I might ask YOU the same question!

**LAVENDER:** I HAPPEN to be his GIRLFRIEND!

**HERMIONE:** I'M HIS FUCKING SOULMATE, BETCH! GTFO OF MY FUCKING HOUSE!

**RON:** -groans-

**LAVENDER:** THERE! He senses my presence. I'm HERE, Won-Won.

**RON:** Er ... my ... knee...

**LAVENDER:** ...

**HERMIONE:** -inner evil grin-

**LAVENDER:** -takes off-

**HERMIONE:** TOLD YOU, BETCH!

**The Staircase**

**HARRY:** -follows Draco to see if he's having an affair-

**KATEY:** Harry needs to bang Ginny. Badly.

**THE AUDIENCE:** -learns that Draco's trying to use the connection between the two Vanishing Cabinets. As if most of them didn't already know that-

**The Great Hall**

**RON:** -seems to be better. And single. And sitting beside Hermione, asking her how he broke up with Lavender-

**THE TRIO:** -all look at Lavender at the same time-

**KATEY:** Oh yeah, these three are just _FULL_ of tact, aren't they?

**ELLIE:** Sticky Tack?

**KATEY:** ...-headpalmfacedesk-

**HERMIONE:** Harry, that's Katie.

**SHELLY:** -looks at Katey-

**KATEY:** Wrong Katie. Shut up.

**HARRY:** -harrasses Katie Bell for information, gets nothing from her, then sees Malfoy and follows him again-

**KATEY:** Harry _STILL_ needs to bang Ginny.

**In The Bathroom (Is Where I Want Yoooouuu. Against the Graffiti Walls, We Know No Law At All -- Nightmare of You)**

**LAME-ASS, AMATUER DUELING:** -commences-

**HARRY:** -pussies out-

**MALFOY:** -almost dies-

**KATEY:** I didn't like this part. In the book, Harry has so much more emotion over what he did. Like, really, he almost killed Draco. KILLED DRACO! Likeohwhoa! But the movie is just, 'Oh look, you're bleeding. Oh, and Snape's here. He'll save you. I'mma GTFO -takes off-'. Little bitch.

**Room of Requirement (NOT THE ROOM OF REQUIREMENTS, YA FUCKING DOUCHES)**

**GINNY:** -hides the Half-Blood Prince's book and then kisses Harry-

**Harry Gets Lucky**

**KATEY:** Had you going there for a minute, didn't I? Nah, Harry just drinks his luck potion.

**HARRY:** -goes down to Hagrid's and bumps into Slughorn on the way there, convinces Sluggy to come with him, has a burial for Aragog (fucking finally. I hate spiders), gets Slughorn drunk and finally gets that fucking memory that he's been trying to get since before March-

**Dumbledore's Office**

**THE MEMORY:** -tells us that Voldemort split his soul up into seven pieces (by murdering people! Go Voldy) and is more or less immortal. That farging bastage-

**KATEY:** YAY FOR JOHNNY DANGEROUSLY REFERENCES!

**HARRY:** Mother Fucker, Voldemort can't be killed?

**DUMBLEDORE:** That diary you destroyed in second year was a Horcrux. A ring could be a Horcrux. Any everyday object could be a fucking Horcrux.

**NEWLY CONVERTED HP FANS:** OMGWTMF?!

**TRUE HP FANS:** Really, Katey? Can't we ditch these guys? They're getting annoying.

**KATEY:** But they're fun!

**DUMBLEDORE:** I think I've found another Horcrux. Wanna come?

**Astronomy Tower**

**DUMBLEDORE:** -kidnaps Harry again to take him to a cave-

**The Cave (No, Not Your Girlfriend's Vag)**

**DUMBLEDORE:** -finds a boat to sail in to the giant salt crystal in the middle of the cave-

**HARRY:** WTF is that?

**DUMBLEDORE:** It's a potion. It must be drunk. -starts to drink the potion-

**KATEY:** NO! DON'T DRINK THE GRAPE KOOL-AID!

**JIM JONES:** FUCK YES! I GOT ALBUS FUCKING DUMBLEDORE!

**KATEY:** I waited FOREVER to put that line in this fucking parody XD I seriously had it in my head since I first watched this movie in the theatres back in, like, August!

**HARRY:** -grabs the locket- Yuss!! -holds up-

**HORCRUX:** -flies into the air and spins-

**MUSIC:** Da da da DAAAAAAA!

**ON-SCREEN TEXT:** Ohay! Congrats! You found the locket! Now go save your Headmaster from the Dead Bodies Everywhere -/end KoRn reference-

**HARRY AND DUMBLEDORE:** -GTFO-

**Hogwarts Castle (Town Mall)**

**DEATH EATERS:** -arrive at the school through the Vanishing Cabinet. Big fucking shock there-

**The Tower (Of DOOOOOM)**

**DUMBLEDORE AND HARRY:** -arrive at the school-

**DUMBLEDORE:** Thou hast verily demonstrated thy courage.

**HARRY:** So I'm no longer a wussy?

**DUMBLEDORE:** No, you're still a wussy. But I have been cursed. Because of that curse, my end is nigh. Though your valiant efforts to break the curse were successful, I was doomed before you started.

**HARRY:** Fuck, you're really dying?

**SHELLY:** You're giving a really big part of the next book away!

**KATEY:** Shhhh! If I reread through this and had to think about how I was giving away parts of the book, other people won't notice!

**DUMBLEDORE:** I entreat ye, Navi. Goodbye. -is blasted off the tower by Snape-

**NEWLY CONVERTED HP FANS:** OMMFGWTMFFBBQMATE!?

**KATEY:** Oh, like you didn't know. I fucking spoiled that at the beginning of the fucking movie.

**HARRY:** ...who the FUCK is Navi?

**The Grounds**

**THE DEATH EATERS AND MALFOY AND SNAPE:** -are taking off-

**BELLATRIX:** -sets Hagrid's Hut on fire-

**KATEY:** I love Bellatrix. First the Burrow, then Hagrid's Hut. She's a fucking pyromaniac. Like me -proud face-

**HARRY:** -chases after Snape, throwing curses. No, I mean the bad spells, not the words. Though I'm sure those are running through his head-

**SNAPE:** -keeps blocking spells-

**HARRY:** FIGHT BACK! YOU COWARD, FIGHT BACK! SECTUMSEMPRA!

**SNAPE:** You DARE use my OWN spells against me, Potter? Yes: I am the Half-Blood Prince.

**NEWLY CONVERTED HP FANS:** OMG HE IZ!? WTMF!? SNAP IZ TEH HAVE-BLOOD PRINTS?!

**The Grounds Part Two**

**HARRY:** -is the first one to actually check if Dumbledore is dead-

**SHELLY:** Check? Right, because falling approximately a thousand feet without a wand would only result in a couple broken bones.

**KATEY:** ...shut up!

**GINNY:** -comforts Harry-

**EVERYONE ELSE:** -sends white magic into the air and changes the Dark Mark to a Ying Yang symbol-

**KATEY:** That is quite possibly the coolest fucking thing in the world. IN THE WORLD! It gives me goosebumps. The fact that David did that. I love David. Why didn't David do ALL of the fucking movies? SOMEONE ANSWER ME PLEASE! THIS IS IMPORTANT INFORMATION!

**Head's Office**

**HARRY:** -plays with Dumbledore's wand-

**SHELLY:** Omg, seriously? Now? He's mourning.

**KATEY:** I know. If I don't throw some humour in there, he'll become a pissy little emo bitch again and start singing Emo Kid by Adam and Andrew. That didn't work out in the fifth parody as well as I thought it might. So there.

**McGONAGALL:** You meant a great deal to Professor Dumbledore, Potter.

**HARRY:** That doesn't fucking help. He's GONE! Don't you GET THAT? -storms out-

**KATEY:** See? Pissy bitch!

**The Tower (Of DOOOM. And Apparently Brother/Sister Talks)**

**HARRY:** Horcrux's fake.

**HERMIONE:** Shit son. That sucks. At least this R.A.B. person left a note. By the way, just completely out of the blue, Ron's OK with you and Ginny.

**HARRY:** I'm not coming back next year. I've got to find all the Horcruxes and destroy Voldemort. I'll let you and Ron know where I am whenever I can.

**HERMIONE:** You're a fucking idiot. How many times have we said this to you? We're coming with you, you dolt.

**FAWKES:** -flies around, crying and making me and Mum cry as well. Fucking bird-

**THE MOVIE:** -ends on a semi-upsetting note-

**END**


End file.
